Nothing says I hate you, like a gift wrapped cat turd..

Recycling is good for you, me & the whole fricking planet. That's why I am recycling some of my favorite posts!! No, you really don't have to thank me........

Do you know I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends! This morning, I was all kind of "What the hell can I blog about today??" and then one of my friends made a comment that her boss was a complete arsehole and another friend suggested filling his office draws up with Jello. And with this I was struck by the most fantastic idea!! What if there was a company which could send the object of your irritation a kind of 'not-gift' which would leave them in no doubt that they were hated or teminally fucking annoying  or both...sort of like a smack in the mouth, but without the violence Or correction fluid in their coffee, but without the prison sentence for attempted murder...I am sure you are getting the idea. And of course it has to be something you can send through the post..- but not Anthrax on the back of a postage stamp...And then I had the light bulb moment....CAT TURDS!!! It's perfect! Not only would it get your message across, but I would at last find a way of recycling my kitties poop.  And this has been a concern of mine for sometime..Have you ever seen how much crap three strapping house cats can produce in a week?? Of course, they would be magnificently presented...

Available in the 'one turd warning pouch' Ideal for the Douche bag who really is testing your patience..

 

Want something with a bit more substance? How about these.....

The Turdily Pretty Kitty Poop™ A selection of the smallest offerings from the litter tray. A perfect  gift for the bitch in your life....

 

 

 

Or the man-sized Turd Mountain™.  Specially selected offerings from the largest of my feline friends.

 

 

 

 

 

and for that special occasion...

Nothing says "fuck you, arsehole" like the Deluxe Kitty Krap™ box! This beauty is full to the brim with a selection of poopy doops (Please note, Kitty Krap is a naturally occuring product. Therefore, size and texture may vary depending on the diet of the cat responsible for laying it).

 

 

 

All Kitty Krap™ gifts are available with matching gift cards and a message of your choice. However if you prefer to remain anonymous, you can choose  a poem from my Inappropriate Collection to accompany your gift to that special person....
PRODUCT UPDATE:
Seasonal gifts now available in the Kitty Krap™ Range...

Make Fireworks night go with a bang, with this flaming special. For a small fee, this turd is hand delivered to the doorstep and set ablaze..

And of course, if you are talking special gifts, well don't forget Christmas! This Santa's Yule Log Special is available in a choice of cheerful wrapping paper and contains added kitty litter for that festive Kitty Krap™ feel..